Well today was the last day of my job as a stay at home mom. Tomorrow both Jackson and I embark on a new adventure. Jackson will be off to daycare and I will be going back to teaching 6th grade only not English like I have for the past 5 years, nope, now I will be teaching social studies.
I cannot believe that this time has arrived. As I drove to his daycare today to drop off some paperwork, I could feel my stomach churning. As we spent the day together eating lunch, laughing, and swimming at the lake my eyes filled with tears several times but I fought to keep them at bay. As I type this blog entry I can no longer fight my tears...it isn't that I do not want to go back to work, I am excited to see everyone and teach again. I just do not want to leave my baby in the care of someone else. I want to care for my baby, I want to kiss his boo boo's, change his diapers, wash his face after he smooshes strawberries all over it, eat lunch with together, hug and kiss him whenever I want.
Where has the time gone? Why do we have to part? Why do I have to go back to work? These are all questions I have been asking myself for the past several weeks. I know, I know it will get easier, it's harder for me than it is for him, blah blah...I have heard it all...just let me cry, let me mourn the loss of my job as a SAHM. Let me feel bad for myself for just one day, let me cry because for some reason that is all I want to do right now.