Thursday, April 29, 2010

Letters to my son

IT speaks for itself:

Dear Jackson,                                                                      April 29, 2010

          I just put you down for your morning nap, covered you with a warm fleece blanket, and was bopping down the stairs to finish up some household items when I heard on The Today Show of this woman who wrote letters to her daughters.  She wrote letters because she saw a picture of a vacation she went on when she was little and realized that she didn’t remember a thing about her childhood.  And I feel like I have had all these great experiences and stories to tell but I only remember bits and pieces of my grade school days let alone high school and college.  It is because of that that I immediately opened up my computer and began my first letter to you. 
You mean so much to Daddy and I and I think that perhaps someday you will understand it when you have children of your own.  I know I didn’t have any concept of or appreciate how much love and attention my parents gave me when I was growing up until I had the unbelievable pleasure of meeting you my wonderful son.  Jackson the love that I have for you is overwhelming at times, it brings tears to my eyes, a smile to my face, and many many times a giggle to my lips.  I  know every parent feels this way about their child but I love feeling like I am the only one in the world who feels like that towards you (well Daddy does too)!  My heart is bursting with love and delight for you.  I would do anything for you!  Sometimes I wonder if I have so much incredible, immense, blinding love for you because of what we went through (you know, the omphalocele and all), but I think I would feel the exact same way if we had the boring ole pregnancy your Dad and I were expecting to have in the first place.
I loved being pregnant for you, eating food with abandonment for you (I am paying for that now), seeing you every month during our sonograms, feeling you roll around, and kick me, and dance with you in my belly.  Watching my belly move every which way was absolutely a miracle.  Your poor Daddy would try to watch my belly and feel you move but you always got quiet the minute he put his hand on my stomach or began starring at you intently, and you know Daddy, he loves to be on the move so he couldn’t stare too long at my belly.  Right when he would look away, you would give me a gigantic kick and I would squeal, “Did you see that?!”  It always amazed me that you were growing in my belly…I was making you right in my stomach…I am still in awe about that.  The day you were born I looked at your Dad and said, “Can you believe he was just in belly and now he is here?  He seems so big to have been in my stomach.”
Having you in my life has made me a better person and I love that my new name is MOM.  Honestly there are no words to describe how you have changed my life for the good…for the unbelievable. 
You are growing up so quickly, you roll over and over to get to where you want, you chew on everything that you can get your hands onto, you swim with Daddy at your lessons at the Y, you stand up and hold onto the laundry basket and balance yourself (well you fall when you start trying to take everything out of it), you LOVE to jump in your baby Einstein jumper from Grandpa Dave, you spend every Friday afternoon with Grandma Deevy (Sometimes Gramps come too) while Mama teaches dance, and you laugh, and laugh, and laugh.  
Well you just took a really long nap in your crib!!!  In fact, it will be a two hour nap in about 15 minutes!!  And for the thirdish night in a row you have slept through the night in your crib…might I just say THANK YOU for doing that!!!  We are off to take your 6 month pictures.  I love you



  1. I think this is a fabulous idea. I started a(nother) blog a couple of years ago with this exact purpose. It's not the blog you know-- it's a private blog... of letters for Liam... NO ONE sees it... they are just for him! I think he will appreciate this when he gets older, just as Jackson will appreciate these letters just for him!

    Love, love, love it.

    And I suspect you would be blinded and overwhelmed by the love you have for that sweet boy, omphalocele or not! Children just do that to you...


  2. This is the only letter I am "publishing" the rest are going to be in a book for Jackson. Hope you are doing well!!!!! Well you could be having the baby now for all I know!!

  3. Morgan - I'm a soon-to-be omphalocele mom due August 10 but I'm sure a little earlier with a c-section. I just wanted to thank you for your blog and all of the helpful information about O babies. What a great resource! I just started my own blog and hope I can be as helpful to mom's out there as you have been.

  4. Brooke,
    I am so happy to meet you! I hope my blogged reassured you and helped you as much as it has helped me to write it! There are a bunch of us on babycenter too. If you search omphalocele? just like that on the babycenter website you will find us.
    I know this is a stressful and exciting time for you and your family! The more research I did, the more pictures (within reason) I looked at, and asking the sonographer the size of the omphalocele really helped me be calm when Jackson was born.
    Infact, my husband was off with Jackson after he was born, getting, weighed and whatever else they do. I made him take pics so I could see the omphalocele. After I was sewn up he showed me the pics and I wasn't shocked or sad at all. It looked small to me and it also looked exactly what I imagined it would look like.
    Good luck to you and please contact me if you have any questions or just need to talk!

  5. Hey Morgan,
    That was a beautiful letter! Such a great idea so he'll know how much his mommy loves him one day. (You'll have to pull it out and read it over and over during his teenage years, I'm sure!) Glad everything is going well for you guys and can't wait to see the 6 month pics!

  6. Hey Jenny,
    Jackson is doing great! And I am sure you are right about having to read this over and over in his teens. Hope you are doing well!!