On Wednesday 10/21/2009 I did the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I left my baby in the NICU as I was discharged and told to go home. I cannot explain how I felt that day...how hard it was to say good bye and kiss his head and know that I wouldn't see him again until the next day. Although I was ready to leave the hospital I was NOT ready to leave my baby.
As the days have gone by, it has gotten a little easier. I have learned that I cannot stay there all day because it will drain me and it will be even harder for me to heal if I do not take care of myself. All the same when I have to leave my heart is heavy as I kiss him good bye and tell him that mommy loves him.
Ugh, I simply can not imagine. You are doing the best thing for your child. Let that be a consolation. I know you know that, but just keep it in the front of your mind...! Big hugs!
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